Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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