I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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