You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
