So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So many bounce houses so little time
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
