oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize