hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
