Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
