Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
