i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
