I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
