sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
