i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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