i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
