one might say we're banned from that church
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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