i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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