If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize