ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
