DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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