I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
