the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
