Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
