His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
