yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize