he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
