Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
