By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
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I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
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I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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