Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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