so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
