i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
