Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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