and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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