would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
