So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
