i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
