Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize