I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
