if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
