took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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