Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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