gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
