My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
