You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Never underestimate the power of titties
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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