I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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