p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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