I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
