it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dude. I can hear the air.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
