officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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