you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
