i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
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Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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