you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
