Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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