I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
