hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
