Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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