grandma shit on top of the toilet
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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