Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
